3 Weight Loss Jokes to Bust Your Stress and Boost Fat Burning

The first in this series of weight loss jokes is...

The South Beach Diet in 7 Simple Steps

  1. Put on your best bathing suit and go to South Beach.

  2. Take off your shirt and sit on the blanket.

  3. Look at all those thin, fit, tan people. Look at your own body.

  4. By now you should be highly motivated to leave, so just get up and take a walk.

  5. Walk all along South Beach until you find a donut shop.

  6. Keep walking.

  7. Walk, and walk, and walk while looking for that donut shop.


You will lose weight sooner than you think… the folks at South Beach do NOT eat donuts.


Weight Loss Jokes - South Beach Diet

One of the Top Weight Loss Jokes: The Truth about Global Eating

If you're like most people, you watch what you eat... Here's the final conclusion on nutrition and health - it’s a relief to know the final truth after all the conflicting medical studies that got you confused over the years:

  • The Japanese drink a lot of sake and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.

  • The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.

  • The Italians drink a lot of wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.

  • The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of fatty sausages and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.

  • The Ukrainians drink a lot of vodka, eat fatty cabbage rolls with pork and sour cream, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.


CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Apparently, what kills you is... speaking English.


Weight Loss Jokes - Truth about Eating

Is Determination Really Helping You Lose Weight?

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess weight. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery.

One morning however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffee cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic:

"This is a very special coffee cake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, “Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery”.

Our eyes were questioning him...

"And sure enough," he continued beaming, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"



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